Until a year ago, I felt that I wasn’t fully able to perform my job as a kind of project leader for inspiration, because my time was not really my own. Like many people, I was hyper-scheduled, often in depressingly small chunks of time, at one meeting after another, with very little time in between. I remember one particular day when I had a different appointment or task every 10 minutes. My brain almost exploded.
Creative people thrive on serendipity, spontaneous interactions, moments of ribald humor, intense debate or just simple eye contact, and I felt as if I was losing myself. I decided that it was time to act. So I tried an experiment. I just stopped saying yes and started saying no to things.
Actually, there was a bit more method to my madness. I started a ritual that I still use today: I sit down and look at my calendar every Sunday night, pore through my coming week’s meetings and cancel a bunch of them — redundant ones where I don’t need to be “in the loop,” ones where there is an opportunity for someone else to make a decision, ones that don’t particularly inspire me, or ones where I can’t really add value. My overarching goal right now, wherever possible, is to give myself more time to simply be.
so hey fun fact for anyone who wants queer history trivia: the first disco in Seattle was opened in 1973 and was a gay bar called “shelly’s leg” and it was named after a dancer named shelly who lost her leg in a confetti cannon accident and used the insurance/lawsuit settlement money to open a gay disco.
“Beauty is often treated as an essentially feminine subject, something trivial and frivolous that women are excessively concerned with. Men, meanwhile, are typically seen as having a straightforward and uncomplicated relationship with it: they are drawn to it. The implication is that this may be unfortunate—not exactly ideal morally—but it can’t be helped, because it’s natural, biological. This seems more than a little ironic. Women are not only subject to a constant and exhausting and sometimes humiliating scrutiny—they are also belittled for caring about their beauty, mocked for seeking to enhance or to hold onto their good looks, while men are just, well, being men.”—'A First-Rate Girl': Yates, Franzen, and the Problem of Female Beauty : The New Yorker
With New York City’s homeless population in shelters at a record high of 50,000, a growing number of New Yorkers punch out of work and then sign in to a shelter, city officials and advocates for the homeless say. More than one out of four families in shelters, 28 percent, include at least one employed adult, city figures show, and 16 percent of single adults in shelters hold jobs. Mostly female, they are engaged in a variety of low-wage jobs as security guards, bank tellers, sales clerks, computer instructors, home health aides and office support staff members. At work they present an image of adult responsibility, while in the shelter they must obey curfews and show evidence that they are actively looking for housing and saving part of their paycheck. Advocates of affordable housing say that the employed homeless are proof of the widening gap between wages and rents — which rose in the city even during the latest recession — and, given the shortage of subsidized housing, of just how difficult it is to escape the shelter system, even for people with jobs.
“We do all split shifts, minimum wage job. Shifts are 6AM-10PM in order to do the morning & evening commute. We spend the off time in the middle of the day, when the techies are at work, sitting in the bus in the parking lots outside in the heat. I’m not kidding! At ebay, bus drivers are not allaowed to even take the bus to go get lunch; we are expected to sit unpaid in the bus for 6-9 hours, waiting for the evening commute to start. At Google, the employees all get unlimited free meals, but the bus drivers are not even allowed in the restaurants to BUY a meal! My company eventually dropped Google because they got sued by the drivers. One-by-one, the local bus companies are learning that they cannot make money on these routes, or protect themselves from lawsuits over the horrible treatment of the drivers.”—
to understand that from the moment of conception you were already a winner. Look at any baby; selfbelief is your birth right.
You’re drawn to people born on…
March 21 to April 19
You have much to learn and love from each other, and a great deal more in common than you think.
Balance is crucial if you want to deal more effectively with life. So if you aren’t feeling at your best, ask yourself whether you have taken care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
People born on October 18 often have a regal, dignified air about them; from their early years expectations will have been high for them to achieve great success. As the years go by, more often than not they do fulfill those expectations by rising to the top; but although they long to make their mark on the world, another part of them longs to run away and hide.
With all the imagination, intellect and talent to blaze exciting trails in life, their need for the approval of others can crush their selfesteem and stop them developing to their full potential. Perhaps in childhood they were criticized or neglected too much; lasting feelings of inadequacy and insecurity continue to haunt them, however successful they are. It is therefore vital for their psychological growth that they work on rebuilding their vulnerable selfesteem. If they don’t, they will be like reeds blown in the wind, flying high when others applaud them but falling down when the praise or support isn’t there.
From the age of five until the age of thirty-five there is a growing emphasis for people born on this day on emotional change, power and transformation, and opportunities will be presented to them to take control of their lives. They must take advantage of these by becoming more proactive and saying “no” to others who seek to take advantage of them. Once they get a handle on their insecurities and realize their own worth, there is nothing they cannot achieve. When they approach their forties and beyond, there is another turning point when life will call upon them to be more adventurous, and it is more important than ever for them to leave self-doubt aside.
This is because once they see what everybody else sees and realize what creative, courageous and inspirational individuals they really are, they have the potential not just to promote the happiness of themselves and others but to be an inspirational force for the common good.
On the dark side
Self-sacrificing, stressed, approval-seeking
At your best
Dignified, inspirational, giving
Love Don’t give too much
There is a danger for people born on October 18 of giving more than they receive in relationships, and it is important for them to have the courage to stand up for themselves and to walk away from relationships that are damaging to their self-worth. Although charming and friendly they, may be reserved when it comes to attracting partners. But once they do find someone who can love and support them and make them feel good about themselves, they can be affectionate, loyal and expressive lovers.
Health Tiger’s eye
Lots of physical activity is essential for people born on this day, not just because they have a lot of energy but also because it will help boost their selfesteem. All forms of exercise are recommended, in particular swimming and dancing. A regular stretching routine is also advised, especially if they are prone to aches and pains. As far as diet is concerned, portion control is advised as they tend to have a larger-than-life appetite, possibly setting themselves up for weight and health problems. It is important for them to avoid too much stress and not to overburden themselves with responsibilities and commitments to others; “no” is a word they need to practice saying more often. Meditation and visualization techniques will help build their self-confidence. Carrying a tiger’s eye crystal will also help boost their confidence, as will wearing the color orange.
Career Born translators
These people will often be drawn to creative means of expression such as art, writing, acting, and music, but they may also put their imaginative talents to good use in education, sales, promotion, advertising, and social reform. A gift for communication and language may draw them to careers in translation or work in foreign countries.
Destiny To inspire and benefit others with their discoveries
The life path of people born on this day is to believe more in themselves, their creativity and their inner strength. Once they understand the importance of building their selfesteem, their destiny is to further their quest for knowledge, and inspire and benefit others with their discoveries.
“I am talented and creative; the only approval I really need is my own”
Signs & symbols
Sun sign: Libra
Ruling planet: Venus, the lover
Symbol: The Scales
Birth date ruler: Mars, the warrior
Tarot card: Moon (imagination)
Favorable numbers: 1, 9
Lucky days: Friday and Tuesday, especially when these days fall on 1 and 9 of the month
A person was just trying to argue with me via twitter about the ESA’s statistic that 45% of gamers are women. Please allow me to clear up a few things:
Yes, those statistics include browser and mobile games. Yes, those games statistically have a higher percentage of women players. Yes the inclusion of those types of games will therefore tend to push the overall percentage toward women. All of those things are true and uncontroversial, but people keep bringing up these things as though it “proves” women are still a small minority of gamers.
There are two gigantic problems with that. The first is that it necessarily implies that browser and mobile games aren’t “real” games. This is of course complete and total bullshit. Not only is it elitist, but it’s also just plain ignorant. Are there tons of completely worthless games in these categories? Of course, but there are also absolutely brilliant games every bit as fun, interesting, and deep as AAA “hardcore” games.
The second problem with these arguments against the 45% figure, a problem so big and nasty you want to sic a couple of Jaegers on it, is the motivation behind it - these people are trying SO HARD to exclude women from the medium. When a normal, decent person hears “Women now comprise 45% of gamers” they think “Huh, that’s cool.” But when a certain segment of the population hears that, they immediately shout “No way, that’s not possible! There must be a flaw in the data!” and go into automatic defense mode, trying everything they can to discredit the information, because they don’t want to believe it. They want to keep their little boys-only clubhouse just for them, even though it has never been just for them; women have always played videogames.
This is my main issue with these study-deniers. The “hardcore” snobbery is bad enough, but it’s the blatant misogyny that really pushes my buttons. They want to twist this data to make it false, because that way they can still feel justified in dropping rape jokes on forums and sexually harassing women on Xbox Live and whining about female protagonists. If they can fool themselves (and others) into believing that women aren’t a huge part of the gaming population, then they can keep on harassing, marginalizing and excluding them.
So the bottom line is this: the next time one of you guys wants to come in here and say “That figure’s not accurate!” or “But if you take out Facebook games…” just stop. Most of what you will say is already widely accepted. The numbers are easily understood. What is more difficult to understand is your pathetic need to “prove” that women aren’t important. Whether the number is 45% or 35% or 65%, the fact is that women are a part of the gaming community. They’ve been here from the beginning, they belong here just as much as you do, and they’re not going anywhere. It’s time to accept that.
also, I just want to add, whether you believe mobile or browser games are real games or not, you can’t deny that the fact that so many women play these games shows that many women already have an interest in video games or, at the very least, have the potential to have an interest in video games. The fact that the majority of women gravitate toward mobile and browser games is probably due to the fact that the majority of the creators of those games don’t exclude women from their advertisements, actively dissuade them from buying the games, or, at the very least, don’t have enough money to create advertisements or develop a fan community that could do either of those things. Oh, and the fact that most of these games are easily accessible and on a phone, a product that is sold and promoted equally to all genders by several companies, probably helps a lot too.
Pretty much every hobby/interest has a hierarchy in which “people who like this one specific type of [thing]” are considered more “hardcore” than “people who like this other specific type of [thing].” For example, say you read a lot of dystopian sci-fi YA novels. You might read HUNDREDS of them, but you will be considered less “serious” about sci-fi fiction fandom than someone who mostly reads hard sci-fi, reads tons of short stories on Tor, in Analog/Asimov’s, etc. In basically any male-dominated [hobby/interest], this hierarchy will be gendered, in that those interests viewed as more masculine will be at the top of the heap. (Those will usually be considered more difficult, or requiring more skill to interpret/perform correctly.)
So this is no surprise.
In addition to the mobile issue, casual games are also much easier to play, well, casually; I play casual games every day (currently Candy Crush Saga— I’m in the 250s right now; a pretty bad Popcap Solitaire Blitz game; and Bingo Bash, but they change every few months or so) and have for years and years and years, but I can play a round on the subway, or while I’m waiting on line, or in bed. They aren’t expensive, they assume a low baseline skill set to start (of course Candy Crush gets hella, hella hard, but you’re eased into it), and they are often cute or at least well-designed (think of the plants in the first PvZ, or the pigs in Angry Birds). No finely-developed twitch skills, $60 games [although I’ve easily spent more than that on CC, as ashamed as I am to say], or bloodshed required.
I just posted an amazon review for the first time in almost 10 years...
And noticed that I had a bio. This is alicetiara, circa 2000:
“Me = indie geek, thrift ho, theory slut, glam lush. In love with the world. Desires = own pink El Camino, go to the pyramids, write brilliant critical work. Likes = pink, rhinestones, girl punk rock, bracelets, fake meat, the Jade Pagoda, hoop earrings, bell hooks, foucault, dada, feminist art, Le Tigre, Idlewild, DIY fashion, Cyndi Lauper, cigarettes, sunshine, tiny dogs wearing berets, Bill Clinton and Kirsten Dunst. Punk rock points = 0. DORK = COOL = LOVE”
Perhaps the first time I’ve EVER wanted to be in my early 20s again.
Pretty genius article on Jeffrey Campbell and his signature platform bootie, the Lita. I’ve worn Campbell since the early 2000s: my first pair was an extremely pointy two-tone gold lame wedge flat which I wore everywhere (I LOVED LOVED LOVED the pointy-toed flat of 2002-2005). Along with Irregular Choice, they were the shoes of record for a certain brand of hipster girl back in the day.
“We just heard a fascinating and disturbing study, where they looked at the ratio of men and women in groups. And they found that if there’s 17 percent women, the men in the group think it’s 50-50. And if there’s 33 percent women, the men perceive that as there being more women in the room than men.”—
“That account suggests that Mr. Weiner’s interactions with the woman, a partisan Democrat from Indiana who thought of him as a hero, fit his longstanding pattern. In rapid and reckless fashion, he sought to transform informal conversations with female fans into graphically sexually exchanges, frequently laced with lewd language and bawdy images, the women have said in interviews.”—
“It doesn’t matter that MTV doesn’t play videos. It matters that we have YouTube and that has been our greatest resource in terms of connecting, having our identity, creating a brand, showing the world who we are via YouTube. That has been our label. Labels will go in and spend a million dollar or hundreds of thousands of dollars and try to “brand” these artists and they have no idea how to do it. There’s no authenticity. They’re trying to follow a formula that’s dead. And Ryan and I, out of anything, that we’re good at making music, but we’re great at branding. We’re great at figuring out what our target audience is. How we’re going to reach them and how we’re going to do that in a way that’s real and true to who we are as people. Because that’s where the substance is. That’s where the people actually feel the real connection.”—
We have a team of people who are responsible for organizing frequent employee social events, maintaining the office “feel”, and making sure work is a great place to hang out. We get served organic, vegan, farm-raised, nutritious lunches every day at work.
What your culture might actually be saying is… Our employees must be treated as spoiled, coddled children that cannot perform their own administrative functions. We have a team of primarily women supporting the eating, drinking, management and social functions of a primarily male workforce whose output is considered more valuable. We struggle to hire women in non-administrative positions and most gender diversity in our company is centralized in social and admin work. Because our office has more amenities than home life, our employees work much longer hours and we are able to extract more value from them for the same paycheck. The environment reinforces the cultural belief that work is a pleasant dream and can help us distract or bribe from deeper issues in the organization.
“We live in a country where politicians call rape a “gift from God” and suggest that women regularly lie about being raped. Where a group of young men in high school think so little of sexual assault that they thought it was fine - hilarious, even - to post pictures online of a passed out rape victim, and to live-tweet the rape, joking about the victim being urinated on. We live in a country where media as revered as The New York Times finds it necessary to describe an 11-year-old gang rape victim as “wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s.” Where a woman can be fired because her boss finds her “irresistable” and a woman’s rape case falls flat because she isn’t married.
It’s time to acknowledge that the rape epidemic in the United States is not just about the crimes themselves, but our own cultural and political willful ignorance. Rape is as American as apple pie - until we own that, nothing will change.”
“And then there’s Charlie Sheen. Sheen’s sordid history includes shooting Kelly Preston with a .22 calibre pistol, throwing chairs at his then wife Denise Richards, being sued by a UCLA student for allegedly hitting her in the head after she refused to have sex with him, allegedly strangling at least two of his former girlfriends and just generally being a god-awful d-ckmonger. Yet none of that mattered to Chuck Lorre and the other people making squillions of dollars from the long running Two and a Half Men, a televisual fart that didn’t just succeed in offending the tastes of thinking people everywhere but also legitimised Sheen as some kind of raffish japester. In the end, Sheen was fired not because he’s a disgusting human being with a gross history of violence against women but because he had a drug problem and was publicly rude to his boss.”—Clementine Ford again, on the topic of why we seem to forget that Chris Brown is not the only famous person who has ever been abusive to women (via exportswede)
1. The existence of a difficult-to-prove trend is proposed. 2. The author quotes an expert in an attempt to support the existence of the trend, but the quote actually contains no real evidence. 3. One statistically insignificant person is introduced as evidence the proposed trend exists. 4. Information is given that seemingly supports the hypothesis, but actually has nothing to do with it.
“Used politically in relationship to governments, the term decolonize means to allow to become self-governing or independent. In a personal sense decolonizing the mind means letting go of patterns of thought and behavior that prevent us from being self-determining. Since our society is structured around the principles of imperialist white supremacist, capitalist patriarchy, it is structured in such a way to impede the construction of emotional well-being for the vast majority of citizens.”—bell hooks (via posttragicmulatto)
If you want to witness the collision of poverty in America, sexual health stigma, and the fissures in our healthcare system, volunteer for an abortion fund. Granting money is a privilege, and doing it for something so critical as abortion access – so heavily under assault in this country – is an honor. And if you want to counteract anti-women sentiment and policies in this country, donate to one. Abortion may be legal, but if you cannot afford it, it is not accessible.
The idea that an abortion shouldn’t be paid for by the government comes from the broader stigma of abortion – that it’s a luxurious service we seek after we (women) do something bad. It’s this notion that receiving financial aid for the consequences of our promiscuity or carelessness only reinforces for lack of virtue. Or, more simply put, it’s a financial slut- shaming.